I Am…I Said, by Neil Diamond

I Am…I Said, by Neil Diamond

I identify with this song because it reminds me of my own circumstances, and that this world is not my home.

In 1987 I left my home town of Christchurch, to move to Wellington for better work opportunities.

When I arrived, I felt a bit like a fish out of water: the weather was worse, the pace of life was much faster, and the people were not as friendly.

Inside I knew I had to make a go of it, but there was always that niggle to throw in the towel and go back home.

But Christchurch changed. The people I used to mix with, well most had moved on with their lives as well. More so now that the 2010/11 earthquakes have levelled the CBD, and changed the entire landscape – when I visit, I can’t get my bearings anymore because the iconic landmarks I used to find my way around, have gone. 

Everything had changed.

Borrowing from the song, I was lost between two shores – Wellington is fine, but it ain’t home, Christchurch is home, but it ain’t mine no more.

But then I remember that, as a Christian, regardless of where I live, none of this world is my home.

Going back to the past is pointless, because it can never be as I remember it.

And moving on to potentially something better is just as pointless, because I’ll just start pining for what I have now.

So, I just wait.

I wait for Christ to return.

I wait to see Him burst through the clouds, or knit together my separated bones from my rotten carcass in the grave – to carry me away to the place he has prepared for me in advance.

A place where I will be content for all eternity: a place I can truly call “home”.

Until then, I will never be completely satisfied with this world.

…and that’s OK by me.

Enjoy!

Lyrics (courtesy lyricsfreak.com):

L.A.’s fine, the sun shines most the time

And the feeling is ‘lay back’
Palm trees grow, and rents are low
But you know I keep thinkin’ about
Making my way back

Well I’m New York City born and raised
But nowadays, I’m lost between two shores
L.A.’s fine, but it ain’t home
New York’s home, but it ain’t mine no more


“I am,” I said
To no one there
An no one heard at all
Not even the chair
“I am,” I cried
“I am,” said I
And I am lost, and I can’t even say why
Leavin’ me lonely still

Did you ever read about a frog who dreamed of bein’ a king
And then became one
Well except for the names and a few other changes
If you talk about me, the story’s the same one

But I got an emptiness deep inside
And I’ve tried, but it won’t let me go
And I’m not a man who likes to swear
But I never cared for the sound of being alone

“I am,” I said
To no one there
An no one heard at all
Not even the chair
“I am,” I cried
“I am,” said I
And I am lost, and I can’t even say why
Leavin’ me lonely still

© Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group

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